doll song

oh my god, she looks like a doll
i was made of modeling clay

worse, i am formed of colorless flesh
pocked in the impossibility of perfection
i'll never be painted so pleasing

her every feature divinely manufacted
those eyes and hands and hiking sneakers
well, i can't make her smile anyway

a new kind of uncanny valley grips me
i am swallowed by eyelashes
sparkled to ruin

i know not what i see. it cannot be real.

let me name it. let me count it.

let me build her, as i could never build myself.

chiclet teeth
doe-soft pupils
rounded fingers
dimpled knees

not a freckle of misapprehension
not a scar that shouldn't preen

where does my naked admiration sharpen to jealousy?
when does innocent envy take a darker turn?

i compliment at every chance, my gratitude outshine
but i will never ever last this world without those features mine