understand me well

understand me well, my dears
i'm preparing for a day well beyond my young years

a time immeminent, a century on
when i am still living, while you all are gone

and this what i know is a natural fact
still knips me, cuts me; i cannot but react

i am born to be a cling-er yet more than a sing-er
i'm born to hold memories no longer to linger

my purpose is a vessel filled with anciens' pride
your love makes me humble and wistful inside

and i know, yes i know, this i know
-it's not forever.

i used to tell myself, younger years-
they'll be the first to live forever.

but it's simply not so. this, of all, i know.
sooner or later, we all have to go.

i say to myself, understand me well
you cannot be surprised by the breadth of deathing's knell

one chorus, and another (and another)
each greet and comfort (like) a brother

and brothers find their ways together
their confidantes and their wills, in heather

as executor to executee
i find all the same in trajectory

where we're going is only natural
we all have (and only) our fates to claim

it's enough about death. it's more about that purpose.
we lazy intoners - our lives, like a circus!

things happen around us, and bluster and jump
to say that we're special is merely presump'

we are not the center; we are our own centres
we stand with our scions against all dissenters

we vehicles of history, young poets deify mystery
we write to others, and then again epist'ary

but what i tell you all in brightest plain out:
i'm ensuring of this. i just have to shout.

understand me well. take proud my precious meaning.
understand my innocence and where my crown is leaning

i cast and cant to the guard parade
of old hats, soulers; retiry's shade

what they have done to prove a pension
i attempt it now, in crude suspension

wagons and carts carry troupe of the arts
i clamber aboard, bevy all of my smarts

i must earn my ticket (my seatbelt, i click it)
i must stand astride when the conductor has died

expired - i'm tired; i've tried and been mired
a million and one ex-pell-ed breaths have been sired

that's an excellent guess, for such pretty mess
you think i'm a novice? i'm not, i confess

i will get there. i will go.
i will keep going. i will show.

understand me well. understand me in deepest expression.
(understand the depth of my bereav-ed depression)

you are done. i go on.
my heart goes on, and on, and on.