little bit

they call me little bit
(and sweetie and baby and honey and dear, but who's counting--!)

and maybe i am a little bit
shorter than most, smarter than i used to be
(and taller and dumber too)

skilled in this or that, or anything else you can think of
on call to be wonderful, on watch to be amazing

maybe i am a little bit
melancholy (baby)
funny (valentine)
sweet (for everyone who's sweet to me, and some of those also who aren't)

but what i want to be
(oh boy)

is a lot
is overflowing, is forgetful in my grand memory, is over the top to get to where i want to be
(superfluous platform shoes aren't only frivolous attention-getters; it takes a lot of little bits to reach)

so many concerts - going and planning and playing and pictures and all not only sounds
(whispers that only i know; i can't show, but i can tell, and oh how i can tell)
i want to remember so hard i forget, and forget so hard i remember
and stop counting because there's too much to count

(i can't do it, no one can)

because i want to

if my life is a concert, we've only just gotten past the end of the overture
the bells of the horns are still ringing in the air
so get your head out of the program, at least a little bit
you don't need it, where we're going

because i want to be

a little bit
unwell
scared
fragile
unnecessary

(smiling the daylights out of the winding night
as if it's not the end of today but the beginning of tomorrow
dressing your best's never a one-time deal)

but a whole lotta
self-careful
fearless
resilient
essential

worthy of being

and maybe

just maybe

LOVED