dissident space

show of hands, can we have it? can we all follow directions, present with class?

(can we all do what we were asked to do, and act anon predictably?)

does anyone else have a deep-rooted phobia of commercial office buildings? of industrial parks, and elementary schools with the lights left on at night?

grocery stores. nail salons. bird seed distributors that no one ever visits. churches upon churches and sign-besting synagogues.

there aren't enough people to attend it all. there's not enough enrollment to employ.

but it exists, somehow, nevertheless.

i greatly dislike infrastructure and the expound of proliferation. i greatly despise the falling of autumn months, when earth begins to crawl with life in cracks and crevices one could not possibly hope to imagine, were one raised in as small of a world as was i.

infinitesimal world, really. world which defies the wonder of fractals. world which denies the existence of anything, actually, at all.

my limitations, which go on forever, are innumerable and uncancellable. of course; i wouldn't be me.

i don't think, i don't know. i have nowhere left to go.

the space i'm plying has no occupant, and yet it shuts me out.

people can ignore you. people can just rend, and reappear.

my false hopes are flying everywhere, desperate to dodge down to endpoints and send up a flare of success, but they won't, because they can't.

terms so simple: they just can't.

nothing stays. nothing ever stays. nothing ever lifts a finger to yield beyond the self.

i don't understand how people just delete things. i really don't - let it die away.

nobody cares about the things i said. i'm not supposed to care about the things i said. i'm supposed to float with phosphorescence in the currents, free of fixation on what once could be. i'm supposed to pretend that i don't really know about the faith of yesterday.

don't you take up the world as an all-holding vessel? don't you abide with minutiae, each dawn day you see?

don't you fear the mere concept of more people than one mind can store, one fate can state, one soul can know?

i do. i'm scared. i'm scared and self-centered, thinking it ordainable that the populace should bend to my infinite rules.

i just have to write down- i just have to right down- i just have to RIGHT HERE and RIGHT NOW do everything for me.