I don't need it (it's green)

No Fandom ¦ Other ¦ M ¦ NAW ¦ for ChjgOppchPD, Jennycakes27, mckeemckool ¦ 444 words ¦ 2026-06-07 ¦ Personal Poetry

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Trauma Recovery, Thrifting, Unemployment, Memories, Rhyme

There are more important things to worry about: the spectrum of love, and office jobs.

I am always thinking about the things I do not have
and not in the way that a rich man quests
nor even in the way that a poor man yearns

I am always thinking of the things that I once knew
even for a second, even for a moment
the things that decorate my mind, in dissonance with the whole

This jacket, those shoes
This story, that news
This trunk full of clothing I'll never get back

I am always thinking
I never stop thinking
(You know, you go to hell if you ever stop thinking)

If brains are made of wrinkles
my brain is forever altered
by these fingerprints

If fingerprints are made of whorls
in my fingers are all the lost keys to other worlds
all the melodies I've heard shores adrift of

But it's green
it's okay
it's alright
nature's healing

But it's green
it's here
it's present
accounted for

But it's green
it's ugly
it's useless
it doesn't matter

But it's green
it's cool
it's revived
it's old news

I am always thinking about the things I do not have
like string cheese and cymbals and incense in censer

I am always thinking about the things I do not have
like license to spend senseless on credit, on card

Like freedom, in spirit
Like peace, in sleep

Like air conditioning, but who needs it?
We don't need it. We're green.

We're green
We're good
Save our coins
like we should

We just sweat
(better yet)
Got no money
can't bet

I'm lost. I'm dead.

If I could only cache out my memories
If I could only count quickly the requisite change

If I could only divest from the general ledger column
If I could only get all of my ducks in a row

I am always thinking
about video game cases
about discs and cartridges
about storage, solid state

I am always thinking
about software packages
about human-readable preferences
about the history of commands once issued in wait

I am always thinking
about unrecoverable messages
about the trash can and the landfill
about the receptacle of thin air

I am always thinking
about quips and conversation
about mindful meditation
about tossing and turning and crying in bed

I cannot forget. I'm not allowed to forget.
I must engrave it in a plaque for generations yet.

I am always thinking about the things I do now have
about the phantoms that follow me, fragmented memory

I cannot stop thinking about the impermanence of what I have
even as the things that I do not have are the ones that stay with me

You know--

I think I think too much.