the edge we need
Haze had a problem. A terrible problem! And much as she liked to remind Lady Lora that oh, you know, these are good problems to have, like when they hadn't enough space in their packs for dry food because they'd just bought fresh cloth for changes of clothes, Haze did not like having to perseverate like this. Oh, no no, not at all.
The problem lay with their new traveling companions - not that they weren't all perfectly lovely!
Well. You see...they were all so perfectly lovely. Haze had never seen so many fabulous faces ready to greet her every which way she turned.
First there was Lord Addam, with his golden eyes and winning ways. He did have a tendency to pull her leg when it wasn't sporting to do so, but he could be contrite enough, when he wanted. And his laugh was enough to strike a melody into anyone's heart! Then you would sigh, and listen to him sing...
As well, he brought with him Lady Mythra. She could be a bit brusque, by contrast, but every so often you could just catch a glimpse of her quick, genuine smile. It lit up her entire face, so that she glowed just as bright as her beautiful golden hair. Haze much preferred this to their usual snippy exchanges, if she could be quite frank.
Master Minoth...well, Haze wasn't sure what to say about him. He wasn't royalty, and he didn't act like it. Still, he was so arresting, and when his searching gaze landed on you, you knew you were bound to reveal all your innermost secrets. He would be kind, but oh so clever - and full of so many secrets of his own.
When it came to Lord Hugo, Haze frequently had to remind herself that he didn't need defending, whether in honor or body. However, she suspected that many were afraid to voice their true feelings, seeing as he was the emperor. His dignified bearing told you who he was at just a glance! She did her best to comport herself with equal confidence.
As for Lady Brighid, if Mythra was brusque, then she was severe. She bristled with an ethereal heat, but she was not warm. And why should she be? She was the Sword of the Empire! So it was only right for her to assert herself with every breath-taking toss of her hair, every dextrous flick of her wrists, every shimmering flutter of her eyelids...
Finally, Lord Aegaeon. He and Brighid were clearly part of a sort of bonded pair, each the other's opposite in every way except for those attributes that they shared in ultra-imperial coordination. His hair, too, was long and portrayed elegance. His technique, too, was astonishingly refined. His affect, too, was practically a work of art.
Haze had only known the beauty of Lady Lora among countless grim-faced mercenaries for so long that to be now surrounded by everything that was pleasing in a person or persons was somewhat shocking. Of course, Jin was very handsome too, and the way he carried himself was something she occasionally did consider emulating, for Lady Lora seemed to appreciate it so well... In terms of their bond, it was obvious! They were closer than anybody Haze had ever met, and the nature of their relationship did somewhat defy description.
It made her smile and blush to herself. All of the new people she was meeting now had equally intricate and mysterious relationships - she just knew it! It was they who were unaware. But, just like with Lady Lora and Jin, the consequences of this were and would be obvious.
If only Lady Brighid and Lady Mythra realized that they had more in common than they had to pit against each other, they would fight with a renewed strength in pursuit of their shared goal. Is there anything nobler than accepting the honor of another's devotion to cause? Surely if they only spent some quiet time together, they would soon see.
And Lord Aegaeon, too! Would he not allow himself to speak freely of his commitment to Lord Hugo, in acknowledgement of its effect on the both of them, personally? Would they be forever doomed only to hold each other at a distance, while their mutual safety and its preservation consumes the both of them?
These things, Haze was only subtly sure of. She knew not what the true inner workings of the Ardainian government had to say about the affairs of its officials and its, or rather their, Blades - versus, say, Torna - nor what compelled the Aegis, rightly, to bargain a sense of self from the ether when posed, existentially, in opposition to another of the same.
What Haze knew, however, was that Masters Addam and Minoth were destined to be together. To share everything, from food and shelter to weapons and secrets, from songs to dreams in infinite kindred cooperation. They were light and dark, electricity and earth, sky and sea, even an inside-out cookies and cream!
It would change everything. If only everyone could see as she saw.
What books - epics! - they would write about the wild, forbidden romance. What fantastic, intimate scenes of poetry and plays. What sighing, sensitive music.
They called Lord Addam a bastard. Minoth himself said that this, of humanity, was all he could be.
And they chose each other. Oh, time and again, in every country, in every era, in every universe, they chose each other.
Haze knew that she would never be so chosen; that wearing Lady Lora's face and clothes might truly be the closest she would ever come to such a thing.
Mythra's heart, if it indeed existed, was closed against her. Brighid's heart yearned for power, dangerously and yet strictly wielded.
Maybe there was a Common Blade out there somewhere. Maybe someone, anyone, somewhat like her.
But for now, Haze would dream of what already had been given, and only need be taken. What beautiful, transformative youth: men as boys.