don't cry because it happened, smile because it's over

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. Invert it - rather, convert it. Don't smile because it happened, cry because it's over.

Funny little wordplay. It'd be cute, if it wasn't so pathetic. That's what humans say to convince themselves that life is worth living. That the pain they feel means something, is worth something.

They're stupid. It doesn't mean anything. Jin's pain, for five hundred years, the pain I caused for him, has not meant anything. He wanted to die. Lost everything but his life, which he couldn't. Not until the rest of the world died too. Not until there would be no meaning in his forgetting Lora.

Lora. The human. The human who caused this whole freaking mess. If she had just taken her dignity and goddamn died, without blathering on and on about hearts, and memories, and love, and...ugh. Why are you protecting this garbage? I should have asked him. I should have asked Jin why he let himself fall in with me.

I am the representation of all the pain that has been made manifest upon this world. It's not Lora's fault. It's not Jin's fault. It's not Amalthus's fault. I, the Aegis, am the worthlessness.

See, I could have killed him. If I'm the Endbringer. And if I'm the Endbringer, it should have been no trouble for me to bring about the end. The only thing stopping me from getting to the top and strangling dear old Dad was those stupid kids, was Mythra and her minions. If we hadn't hired that stupid kid...this would have been over months ago.

I haven't seen anything new. Haven't experienced a single thing different than I would have if I'd just been able to retrieve my powers and get on with it except getting given cancer and falling off a cliff. Of all the idiotic human things to have to experience...

Of all the idiotic human things to have to experience. I didn't...I didn't. I didn't care about Jin. I was only repaying my debt. I would never have let him tie me down like that precious Driver of his tried to do. We had a goal. Still have it. So I'm gonna go out right.

Revenge is sweet, they say, but I should be salivating if that's so. I haven't hungered since I was born dead in 3562. Now, victory is sweet. Always, it is. And if victory is sweet but revenge isn't, then revenge isn't victory. There's no way to win.

Don't smile because it's over, cry because it happened. Or...no. Don't cry because it happened, smile because it's over.

Heh. That's more like it.