alas! poor diddums

Such crepuscular creatures as hamsters would usually only present as awake, in such towns as Fonsa Myma, after about the nineteenth hour of the day (twentieth, in the summer). Iona's pet hamster, which she had creatively named Diddums - like naming a cat Fluffy, wasn't it? - poked about at all hours of the day, owing to the fact that Cole's playhouse abode was twilighty round the clock. Dim, and drab, and full of dust, he'd made it. Consider what that'll do to a young thing's lungs! And he had, but the dust wasn't really so bad, right? Not for those who lacked his specific chronic condition. Only back in his office, for extended periods of time.

Unfortunately for Cole, and perhaps also for Diddums, his office was just where the cage was housed. Perhaps slightly better than the storeroom with the flaking Anlood taxidermy, but not by much.

Iona had obtained her unidentified specimen, a distant descendent of the wild Tornan hamsters, via a special favor from Genbu's non-favorite envoys. Last time (and the first time) they'd been in to visit "Gramps", as Zeke called him despite all grumbled protestations, Pandoria had asked Iona if she had many friends. Iona had shaken blue-locked head and said despondently (though everything sounded despondent from her, at that age), "I only have Grandpa."

(Cole had smiled despite himself. To be somebody's friend, again...and not just "friend" to a visitor.)

Pandoria had frowned and squirmed and sparked. "No Blade, right?"

"Well...I have Grandpa."

"Doesn't count!" Zeke had practically shouted. "No way, no how. Squirt, I say we get you a hamster."

Pandy had squinted, which was slightly different to a squirm in a way that only her prince knew. "A hamster?"

"You know, Pandy, a hamster."

"Ohhh, right! A hamster!"

Something slightly different to the initial invocation in a way that only her prince knew. But, they'd procured the thing, much as Cole had hoped and really believed that they never actually would, since they didn't quite seem like your average follow-through types, and they'd deposited it on Mymoma's doorstep in a cruddy cardboard approximation of an Ardainian air-mail chest, with holes less punched than slashed in it for breathing room.

Though Cole was really Minoth, at heart, he had picked up some irascible tendencies from the wholly human aspect of his grandfather-ness, along the years, and his first instinct was to hiss, "Oh, for the love of-- Iona, will you get that thing out of here?!"

But he didn't say that, because he never spoke so harshly to Iona, or anyone, except Vandham, when particularly bad news had gotten one or the both of them in particularly bad moods. No, Cole just pursed his lips and called sweetly to Iona, "Iona, dear, there's a package here for you."

After a beat, he thought to add, "From your friends."

Unable as he was to stoop to pick up the box, Cole had to wait patiently for Iona to emerge, and she did so at a very normal pace, but when she saw the shoddily scribbled cartoons on the cardboard proclaiming the contents, she practically began to jump.

"For me?! Really?! Oh, Grandpa, thank you!"

Neatly stepping aside, Cole murmured, "I had nothing whatsoever to do with it."

But she hugged him anyway, and he smiled crookedly anyway, and it was truly automatic, the industriousness with which he cleared a space at the kitchen table for her to set the precious parcel.

The box contained no cage, but carefully set inside it were a hand-carved wooden wheel (a scrawled note attached said that the craftsman's initial attempt had been with Broom Icicle, and a different handwriting, in brief, indicated that he was an "Idiot!"); an overzealous selection of Wavelet Stone, Gravity Rock, Shell Rock, Lacquer Stone; some Emerald Snow and Sea Berry mixed together to cover the bottom (another note, in a peculiar script hybrid, said never to use chips of Gypsum Branch); and a bag of dried Sickle Cricket, which made Cole arch an ancient brow.

And of course, there was the passenger of honor, squirreled away into one corner, eyes covered.

"Aw, diddums," said Cole carelessly, deciding whether or not to attempt a wakeful finger. "Who knows who delivered you..." The wonderance was sympathetic, but the tone and epithet weren't; Iona, not knowing this, immediately latched on.

"Oh, is that his name? I think it's perfect!"

The other brow went up. "How do you know it's a he?" Knowing Zeke, which Cole would never admit to, he would have puzzled over whether to champion just such a guy's guy as a hamster might be or to balance out the gender ratio, at least in attempt, since it wasn't very good sport to tell Iona she needed a friend and then give her a pal, was it? And Pandoria's logic might have been much of the same, in the opposite direction.

As if on cue (yes, yes), Diddums shifted to one side, revealing a final note tucked underneath their tummy. Neither he nor she, but whatever you want it to be. We made sure the poor little chap was neutered, so that way we couldn't tell!

"So a man's mind and a woman's might?" Cole mused. "Well, no, that's just Pandy. Since they come in a matched set."

Iona, once again paying him no mind, lifted Diddums gingerly up and began to gently scratch at its forehead.

"Maybe a tiger's heart wrapped in a woman's hide?"

Diddums had no stripes.

Thought Cole, most friendship is feigning; most loving is folly. But he didn't say, because Iona seemed so happy. After shuffling to the next room and returning with his largest long-unused insect cage, with bar spacing fine enough to suit Diddums but not quite too fine, he left her alone with her new companion.

Throughout the weeks and months to follow, Cole was left with the responsibility of feeding and comforting the tiny animal soul far more times than he would have best preferred. Belloat Grass and Beautiful Shoots, since the farmers of Leftheria had continued to send him dividends year after year, and Cole knew not if this could be attributed to any special will of Addam's. Spark Cucumber and Dolphin Carrot, all in small enough pieces not to scare the miniature mouth. Plenty of Puri Leaf Cabbage and Hammer Fern. The occasional bit of Ruby Mangosteen or Moonbeam Banana.

It was a lot of shopping, even if Cole had favors to pull from all over Alrest, and even if Iona did eat her vegetables regularly just as well as her new friend. He didn't mind it too much, though. It made their cooking a little more lively, and he had more money than he knew what to do with, now. Money had never really been an issue, even way back when. Just the agency of it had been tricky.

The problem was, Diddums was a very slow eater. Too slow for Cole's aged patience. So once he'd tired himself out dealing with all these bountiful groceries, he'd want to lie down. Diddums would follow, happily haunched upon his chest without adding too much weight to breathe. Asleep he'd be, when Iona returned from school, and she'd smile and leave the hamster right where it lay.

If Cole had, any longer, the stray lock of rebellious hair, Diddums might have chewed upon it. As it was, Diddums chewed upon his beard. In general, had he been a younger man, in finer health, Diddums likely would have cost him much sleep.

Here in 4057, however, Diddums only brought Iona smiles. So eventually, Cole got himself acquainted.