pocket universe

"Elly!!"

He yells, but there is no echo. No, there is nothing here.

He can see her, yes, but he cannot...cannot feel her. Oh, how he wants to feel her.

Not a true being. Only created by my consciousness - my feeble, fallible, human consciousness. Hell, I've always been so weak.

Krelian said he'd create god with his own hands. I couldn't do that if I tried. I couldn't even protect her...

The chanting, cold and endless and empty and motive as the ripples on the pool, won't stop. Doesn't stop. Gears, worms, grinds its way into Fei's ears and mind and sinuses and every physical place that he shouldn't have, here.

He is naked. All he feels are the waves around him. Oh, they are so cold.

And Elly, floating in that bubble...why would I have imagined her like that? What is stopping me from bringing her down here, holding her in my arms?

Why can't I do ever anything to stop the fighting?!

Did I ever truly understand her? If I didn't then, I couldn't possibly now. No, I couldn't...

Or, no, because that's not humanity works. We have to...

Oh, Elly. Who am I lying to more? Who have I been?

Who have I been?

Who is this ghastly face, before me?

He is only a person. He is only Krelian, that man's agony and sorrow and listlessness.

Krelian doesn't have hope. Oh, how I wish he had hope.

And he isn't even trying to sap away mine.

Urbolus is wretched. It eats away at its own tail, everlasting, and so, so unhappy.

Serpent. You may wear Myyah's face, but you are not Elly. You will never be Elly.

I am not Abel, to whom Sophia was a mother. I am not Lacan, to whom Sophia was a confounding, intimidating religious figure and guiding presence.

So much of me is inside. The love that springs up from all people, all humans, independent of this god for we have never known it...

I am Fei. I am Fei Fong Wong. And Elly Van Houten...

She is a part of me. She is my universe, everlasting.

Fei calls upon Xenogears. He destroys the makeshift ouroboros, by his own hand.

And Elly descends. Elly comes down, to be with him.

Droplets fall on the existential pond. The pendant flickers, far above. Angels smile, to be together.

When they start running, that is the first time Fei has felt Elly's touch, her body, her soul, in what feels like an eternity.

She is still real. She is still his - she is still her own!

This Elly. No other.

If he could, he would pick her up and place her in his pocket, hold her close to his chest, so that no matter what happens as the rift begins to settle, they will always be together.

But there is no time. They are running, running, running. Away?

"There is no time," Krelian says. Fei feels almost as if he must have predicted it, osmosed the words into a volatile preimage through contact unknowable and unknown.

Still, Fei is holding Elly. Still, his hands reach outside of himself to find that missing piece of his soul.

If she wanted, he would bid them follow Krelian, because any walk along the Path of Sephirot would be a fulfilling one, with her.

But that's not quite what humanity is about, is it? That is not mutual understanding, love and unity, everlasting communion.

As they fall, torched hot and cold by stars all around, their clothes come about them, and they are ready to rejoin humanity.

And that is when Elly touches Fei's face, cradles his cheeks in her palms and gives everything that might have been missing.

"Elly..."

With hands wrapped around her neck, feeling the vulnerable place underneath her curtain of hair, Fei feels open. Fei feels one, and only one.

Yes, she is his universe.

"I am here, Fei. I think...I think all will be right again."