we have been waiting for our waters to bring you cool

Bartholomew Fatima was absolutely, abhorrently incorrigible. Peregrine didn't rely on big words to help turn people away from them, as a rule, but those were two good ones, and one of them was even one letter longer than "Bartholomew", which was a colossal relief.

...okay, so maybe they did like big words. But not as much as they liked Bart keeping his patched eye and burnt-tipped nose away from them - ESPECIALLY when he thought it funny to crack a joke concerning the fact that he "just wanted to talk about the weather."

Weren't Fatimas supposed to be majestic, munificent...princely?