fuzzy wuzzy was a bear

i told myself that i was unique - unduplicated point of access
going places and doing things that others, by rounder modes of entry, could not

i told myself that i was special by dint, and not by definition
that nobody could subordinate nor supercede the empire i had built

in a way, i even loved myself. i fancied myself quite the hot commodity
i gave myself permission to found all manner of self-centering behavior

i treated myself this way because of how i looked
and i looked, as the years went trundling by, how i felt

how i felt i should - first bob, then bulb, then pixie, then butch, to undercut, to buzz
i left the hair, so long, behind; so long, so long ago. because i should. i thought i should

no one could ever mistake me. and no one told me they thought it didn't suit me
(yes they did, of course they did, because of what it was / they thought it should)

i am the only me there is, so you'd better get used to this, to this
you'd better get used to what i was saying. telegraphed, and it's gone

and i thought, quite naturally, here again, i am special
here again, no one is doing it quite like me. who would?

as if only those who'd shorn their crowns could make alike to bald ones, now
as if i could signify, through shortness all, how i'd the only one there was

i exempted myself from participation in the competition
that doesn't exist, because nobody's playing

i sorted myself into a category all of my own
there's nothing to shoot for; i am only alone

and the hair i had on my head, it made me
one of them, i'm not, but i pretended to be

the individual advantages are far outweighed
by the effort it takes to look human, again

i cannot be a gallant a-name
billowing in the wind, so silky fine

perfect curls and ys and is
i'm thrown, a blunter syllable, down

and while i process in the trodden road
caught up in all that i will never be

the girls are walking on without me
the girls are nothing less than free