i'd sell you to ganon for one chickaloo tree nut

"Okay, I'm here!"

Maybe the shout hadn't been such a good idea. Chest heaving, Goldie scanned the area for her friend, but there was no sign of them.

"Flexter?" she called. Just when she was starting to seriously wonder if she'd been set up, a white-crowned head peeked down at her from the woody structure above.

Leave it to them to pick the most ridiculous meeting spot. With a sigh, Goldie dropped the reins, gave Victor a calming pat, and made her way up the rope ladder that had suddenly appeared.

Upon reaching the top, she found Flexter in the beginnings of conversation with a extremely long-billed, large-chested Rito wearing a fleecy hat and goggles. Flex had their investigator's face on...

"Heya, Golds!" they greeted her. "Check this place out - never been up here before, huh? And here I thought his house was a witch's hut the whole time... I mean, who builds a house on top of a mushroom tree?"

(Not Hudson Construction, that was for sure. In fact, they were much more likely to make use of a Seven-Son Flowering Shrub.)

"Oh, come on, Flexter, it's just a bird's nest! With extra steps, I suppose."

"You're right, little lady! The name's Penn, by the way." Goldie had never shaken a Rito wing before, but no better first time than now. Penn continued, "This actually isn't my hut - the famous bard who used to travel this land keeping alive the ancient songs and myths they spun roosted here, when he wasn't perched back up in Rito Village, with his wife and kiddos."

"Wait...he has kids?" Flexter was starting to understand why Traysi had tasked them with this particular bit of detective work. "And he's just missing? Did he die, or something?"

Come to think of it, why weren't they talking to the family? Well, if the guy had died...

"Not sure. Could be he just repatriated. Not your average Rito, you know. He had a bigger, blunter beak, and more sensational plumage."

Penn seemed to be quite pointedly not referencing his own distinctive appearance. In fact, while he'd provided some interesting information, he appeared a little useless.

Once Flexter had assured Penn that the two would indeed "soar long", the two Hylians dropped back down to Goldie's steed (Flexter had a habit of...losing horses) and headed back to the Gazette. On the way, Flexter filled Goldie in:

"So he was working with Link on a series of articles about sightings of Princess Zelda, and then he just...disappeared?"

"Basically. Traysi said he's an airhead, but a real hard worker when he's got his gears turning. She sent me out to Washa's Bluff to see what I could see. Say, you ever wanted to be a reporter?"

Goldie considered saying that being friends with Flexter was all the excitement and intrigue she ever needed, but decided against it.

"Let's just see how I do on this case."

"Case? It's a story!"

Traysi didn't seem to care much one way or the other what Goldie called it - she was just happy that Flexter had backup.

"Listen, I hate to talk bad about my staff, ex- or otherwise, but Penn was just..." she massaged her forehead "...flighty. Always running his beak. Link tied up all the stories they worked on, but let Penn think he did it. Penn picks up what he likes to call 'chirps and warbles', and we don't need any of those to start out looking for Kass. Just folks with good heads on their shoulders and a can-do attitude."

"She really, really likes that you're helping me out for free," Flexter stage-whispered.

Right. Because being friends with Flexter was all the excitement, intrigue, and reward Goldie needed.